New Years Goals Jar

It's that time again!  During the last week of last year, my wife and I set up a bowl and a set of papers similar to the picture above.  Then, any time during the week that either of us had any inspiration, dreams, or goals for things to accomplish during the year, we wrote them down. On New Years Day (or sometime close to then) we had a date night and read through all of them together.  Some of them were simple, some were outrageous, some were jokes, some quite serious.  It was a great hour of conversation (in Burger King... classy I know!).


Here are a few of the goals we set at the beginning of last year that we've met (or attempted) as a result of our conversation that day:

• Budget each month: It has been so helpful to come together twice a month to get on the same plan about money. As a month comes to a close, we are able to look at what we've spent or not -- save for Christmas, etc. Without this, it would have been impossible to...
• Buy a bed for the girls room
• Send out Christmas Cards
• Buy a freezer to have freezer-meals (didn't quite accomplish, but should occur early in 2015)

• Create a CD: One of my favorite accomplishments of 2014 was finally recording a CD of my own music, written for our church. By using garage band, I was able to layer together several tracks worth of vocals and guitars and self-produce the CD: Oaks of Righteousness, which you can download for free.

• Concert:  Another goal of ours was to host a concert of our favorite family-oriented songs, which we were able to do in July. Belding offered us a spot on their Thursday night "Music in the Park" series, where we were able to perform a set of country songs.  

• Start Recycling
  
• "Bread"-ruary:  Our initial dream was to simply go one month with only creating fresh bread - not buying any. After successfully going through February, we continued on into March, and now ten months later, still make our own bread each week. I don't think it's saved us any money, but it sure tastes good, and with an electric Breadmaker, it's not time consuming either.
  
• Have a garage sale
  
• Not have another kid (YET): I hesitated to even include this, but with couples all around us expecting in 2015, and this being such a publicly stated goal in our small groups and circle of friends, I was afraid if I left it out people might think we were making an announcement or something.  The exact wording of the goal was "Enter and leave 2014 with two kids", a sort of joke that we wouldn't lose any kids along the way either.  I'm happy to say that despite Carrie picking up more hours at the library and also 8 hours a week at church, I haven't lost any kids in the extra hours of daddy-daughter time.

Granted, there were some goals on the list that haven't been accomplished. They won't automatically become goals for next year, as I think it's important to reevaluate and dream again.  But overall, the process of dreaming together as husband and wife was valuable last year, and one we are planning to do this year too.  Eventually, I hope the whole family will get involved too.

What do you hope to accomplish in 2015?

Confessions from the Litter Box

Today, as I was doing the weekly chore of emptying the litter box, I heard my older daughter misbehaving and yelling and screaming at her little sister. Usually I would punish her, or yell back (which is totally acceptable and non-hypocritical response to "Don't yell at your sister!" right?). This time I was able to calmly go inside and invite Abby outside (which took forever as she had to find a coat, hat, mittens, boots, etc.)

Then Abby learned how to sift the litter box. She learned how to dig for poop, shake out the dirt, and the dump the poop into the bucket. She worked it for a few minutes while we talked, and then eventually I took over and finished for her. She even said "This is fun!".  Not exactly my first thoughts while doing it. Not exactly what I had hoped for with a "punishment". I thought the best thing that she could do while being selfish was to do something for someone else -- but she shouldn't have fun doing it!

The conversation we had however was beautiful.  Here's my attempt at remembering:

Daddy:  "You know what I do whenever I do this Abby?"
Abby: "No, what daddy?"
D: I usually take this time to confess.
A: What's confess?
D: Confess is when you pray to God and tell him things that you did that were wrong. Things that you're sorry for."
A: Like yelling at my sister?
D: Yep.
A: Dear God, I'm sorry for yelling at my sister, do you forgive me?
D: That's perfect bud! Now, usually you aren't going to hear God say "I forgive you" but he always does.
D: Do you have anything else you want to confess?
A: Not today. I didn't do anything else bad today.
D: [laughs]

Later:

A: It's stinky.
D: That's why we do this every week.  If we don't do this every week, it gets really stinky.
A: Yeah. Ninja pees a lot.
D: Yep, and Sammy too. It happens. That doesn't make them bad kittys (except when they don't do it in the litter box, right?!)
A: Yea. They should say they're sorry!
D: Well, we do bad things every day too.  We should try to confess right away. You should probably do it every day, or else we have stinky days.

Not sure if any of this is going to stick -- we'll see.  But hopefully this little lesson sticks a little.  And if nothing else, I might be able to pass one more chore off on the girls.

Taking Precautions - A Life Application from the Substitution Method

One of my favorite lessons to teach in Algebra 1 is the lesson on the substitution method of solving a system of equations. If your unfamiliar with the method, but interested, you may watch my lesson of it on youtube. As we talked about it this week, the lesson took a more spiritual turn than I had expected.

One of the first steps in the substitution method is to work to isolate one of the variables in one of the equations. Often you have some choice in which variable you'd like to isolate.  For example, in the system below, which variable would you choose to get alone?

2x + 3y = 11 and x + 5y = 16

If you chose the x in the second equation, then I would agree with you, and that's what I suggest to my students. The choice is so obvious to me, that I struggle sometimes to understand why my students don't see that. 

When addressing some students attempts at solving this with the substitution method, I approached a student who had a completely wrong answer (it's x=1 and y=3 by the way) and started looking through their work to find their mistake(s). After seeing tons of fractions and negative signs, I realized that they had made life much more difficult for themselves then they needed to. They had tried to solve the first equation for y, which produces the ugly y= -2/3x + 11/3 which then needs to be substituted into the other equation and multiplied by 5. Somewhere in the work that follows they must have made a mistake or two, but I couldn't make heads or tails of it with all the horrible fractions.

I told them that they're mistake was choosing to solve for y first, instead of finding x. They disagreed and told me "You said you can choose any of them!" which was correct, but not the full truth. I said you COULD choose any of them, but there is usually a wiser choice. 

In sharing this experience with the rest of the class, I told them how I choose the variable that doesn't have a coefficient in front of them, because I won't have to divide. Division brings fractions, and fractions is just one additional difficulty that can trip us up. I told them how in similar situations, I'll choose an equation with all positives instead of negatives to work with because those negative signs are just one more potential pitfall. 

This lead me to recite the verse from Hebrews saying "Let us throw off everything that hinders, and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."  I told them of how sometimes the decisions we make that seem relatively arbitrary often have important consequences, and can put us in paths that might trip us up. Over the years, I remember many times making conscious decisions one way or the other to try to avoid temptations or opportunities to fail: 

• I tie knots on the ends of my shoe and sweatshirt strings to make sure to keep them from sliding through
  
• Our family does not have cable television. Part of that is because we can't afford it, but even if we could, we decided long ago we did not want that to be a temptation because we knew that we would easily fall victim to it and watch hours of television that we don't REALLY want to. We do watch tv, but we decide what we're going to watch and either watch online or go somewhere and watch with others.
  
• In high school and college, I struggled with looking at inappropriate material online, and so many weekends when my roommates would be going away, I made them take internet cable away with them, so that I couldn't possible give in to the temptation even if I wanted to. Now web services like SafeEyes, CovenantEyes, accountability partners, and having a centralized computer instead of computers in bedrooms are strong suggestions to help provide internet safety.
  
• On a lighter note, I put my keys in the fridge on leftovers that need to come home. Or on my guitar case, so that I won't forget to bring my guitar home from school. I've even once put my keys on my daughters car seat so that I wouldn't leave her behind. (Unfortunately, I have read of parents who had left their child behind in the back seats of cars on hot sunny days because they were sleeping.)
  
• I always lock my car with my car keys button, and never lock the car with the button on the door. One time locking my keys in the car at Michigan Adventure and my wife travelling out to rescue me is enough.
  
• I now have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my lunch box. While I still haven't developed the habit I'd like (and need) I have increased the likelihood of me making that wise choice to brush after school because my stuff is always there
  
• I've removed my facebook shortcuts and apps from my phone and computer. Why I haven't just eliminated my account entirely, I don't know -- but now I have to purposefully choose to visit it instead of just going there out of habit and ending up an hour later wondering what happened. At the same time, I've made it easier to find my Bible.

What sort of things do you do to help yourself remember to do good things, or avoid falling into trouble?

This is the Day

Today I had several hours on my own with the girls while Carrie ran errands, and as much as I love my girls -- I often dread these times.  Usually it's because I feel inadequate, especially with my littlest. I am not good at deciphering what she wants -- what's the difference between AAAHHH! and WAHHHH!?  Even if I can figure out what she wants -- I'm not as good at everything as Carrie, nor as quick at getting a bottle ready, and Ellie get's frustrated waiting for me.  

On top of my inadequacy, I also struggle with patience issues -- and lose my patience most often with my own children.

But enough about me -- I really just wanted to share a few thoughts I had while playing with Ellie. 

Today I sat her up, and put a toy in front of her so she could practice sitting up.  The toy was a little ball-like face that giggled whenever it shook. Ellie loved it, and giggled along with it for at least fifteen minutes. As I sat there enjoying it, I thought "Toy: this is your day. Until now, Ellie hasn't been strong enough to sit up and really enjoy you, and tomorrow she'll probably have grown up so far that you'll be boring. This is your day to  shine -- so giggle on little one.  Giggle on."  

I know -- really deep right?  But it did remind me of the popular Sunday school song:

This is the day
That the Lord has made
We will rejoice and be glad in it

It reminded me that our time is short. Our time as parents is short -- our kids are only young for so long!  Every time I ignore Ellie is precious time I can't get back. Will I miss my "day" someday? 

It also reminded me that our time on earth is short. We were made to honor and glorify God and how often I waste that time. Why? This is the day that the Lord has made! Giggle on!

2012 in Review

Since all the cool bloggers (#1 and #2) are writing 2012 in review blog posts, I thought I would throw one out too.

A shot of the fam...

... and an assorted list of some of the important moments for me in this year:

• I became a father - again!  Eleanor Gracelyn was born on August 4th - a date that had previously been quite painful for me - my mother past away on this date in 2004, but this year that date has new joy.  Ellie is now 5 months old and full of smiles and giggles, and spit up and crying.

• I graduated! Again.  This year I completed my Master's degree from Cornerstone University. It was in  Instruction and Curriculum development in Secondary education. This blog is in no small part a product of that education, as I'm sure I wouldn't have started it without it. 

• I flipped a class: I began using a new teaching technique, flipping the classroom, in my physics classes. This involves recording lessons that students watch as their "homework" which frees up class time for labs, projects, one-on-one tutoring, practice, ect. 
• Finished a 100+ page project documenting a flipped unit and capstone-ing my Masters Degree 
• Attended the Alive Music Festival with my wife and the youth group kids. Went to numerous concerts and seminars, and played a lot of guitar
• Got new phones-that work! And an iPad. Been using a lot of new technology that has become very familiar to me now -- it's hard to think that it's only been a couple of months with it!
• Watched a planet travel across the sun! And in general, learned a lot more about using telescopes through a good friend at church

• Went sailing! My dad bought a hobie cat sailboat and we enjoyed getting stuck out there many times:

Probabilities of Phase 10

We were playing a card game the other day and I couldn't resist making some back of the napkin calculations of probabilities.

The game was Phase 10 -- a stupid game that I can never win. The point of the game is to collect certain combinations of cards faster than your opponents.

There are 108 cards in a Phase 10 deck:

•   96 numbered cards numbered 1-12, 2 of each in four different colors
•   4 skip cards
•   8 wild cards

To begin each hand, 10 cards are dealt to each player. After dealing and several turns have been played, in one round I have come to have these cards:

What are my chances of drawing what I need?

In the picture above, you can see I have a wide variety of cards, and two wilds to use. I am trying to get a run of 9 consecutive cards, and am almost there. I'm wondering, what is the probability of me drawing the card I need from the deck at random? I have to do this because my opponents are being stingy and purposefully leaving me cards that are not helpful, because they have been observing what I've picked up in the past few turns.

Well, at this point in the game there have been 30 cards dealt out, and an additional 12 cards played, which means there are 108-30-12 or 66 cards remaining. I am in search of 3, an 8, a 9, a 12, or a wild card, as any of them would allow me to complete the run and play my hand. I have not seen any 3's, 8's, 9's, 12's, or wilds played by my opponents, but I wouldn't expect to see them -- and especially not wilds, as those are seldomly discarded.

At worst, my opponents could be secretly collecting these cards -- and have all of them in their hands -- or could they?  There are 8 each of the 3's, 8's, 9's, and 12's, and 6 more wild cards out there, which means there are a total of 38 cards that I could win with that are unaccounted for. Even if my opponents were both incredibly lucky (not likely) and incredibly mean (possible...) that would still leave 18 winning cards available out of the 66 in the deck, for a minimum probability of 27%.

At best, my opponents might have none of these cards -- leaving all 38 as possible cards to draw from in the deck of 66 -- yielding a maximum probability of 58%.

Chances are likely that something in between is true -- perhaps my opponents have a few of these cards, but not all of them. I'll have to assume that my potential winning cards have been evenly dispersed amongst all of the other cards I don't have -- and even though I can't draw from my opponents hands, I should include the cards they have in my probability calculations. That means there are 66 + 20 or 86 cards to "draw from" and 38 possible winning cards, or a probability of 44%.

I figure I can last another three turns or so before one of my opponents goes out first. This isn't as much of an arbitrary guess as you might think -- a lot of times you can tell by how many cards a player still has how many turns you have left.  What then are my chances of winning? I should be guarenteed right? 44*3 is over 100%!  Unfortunately it's not that easy, but must be calculated by subtracting my chance of losing from 1. My chance of losing is my chances of not getting a card I want 3 times in a row. There is a 100-44 or 56 percent chance that the card I draw next will not help me.  Therefore, my chances of losing are (.56)(.56)(.56) or 17%.  This means my chances of winning are pretty good -- or around 83%.

Unfortunately, I did not win, but when you're playing your wife, winning is always best, and sometimes losing is a victory. Occasionally you need to lose a battle to win the war. Er... to avoid war? I mean, I love you honey!

Thanksgiving Wishes

Thank you. (no, this isn't me...)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I wanted to take a few minutes and express my gratitude to God and all of you for what you have done in our lives. Here is a short list of the things I am thankful for:

• My wife Carrie: She is the one of the least selfish people I have ever met. I cannot imagine life without her. She works so hard to take care of us all, and has enabled me to do my best at my job. I love you. I am inspired by her daily to spend more time playing with and caring for ...
• My daughters: The two of them have been such tremendous sources of ... emotions. Mostly joy and laughter and happiness, but also times of frustration and fear. I can't imagine life before them anymore -- it must have been so boring and flat!
• My family: Though it took me a while to appreciate all the changes a step family brings with it, I am grateful for their role in my life. My step mom has been working so hard at a new job, and yet continues to be so generous and excited to see her granddaughters. I've enjoyed being able to assist her over the last few months in helping create an updated electronic medical form for her job. It's really helped me to be able to connect with and work with her on a project. My dad continues to show his love to me,  most recently through allowing me to play tennis with him and his friends on Monday nights -- something I didn't know how badly I needed. I'm also grateful for the changes God has done in the rest of my family -- a new baby on the way, new steps in careers, and a miraculous healing and removal of cancer have been announced in just the past six months. Praise God for all these changes. Every night Abby and I thank God and pray for each one of you!  
• My "family": Another family that has been especially helpful for me is my church. They take such good care of our daughters. Every Sunday our girls are cared for by someone in nursery and my wife and I never have to worry about who's got 'em. Special thanks goes to "Miss Meghan" and to the Wittenbach's who have been babysitters, often for free, to the girls and enabled my wife and I to serve the chuch via ...
• Music.
• My job:  I love being able to use my gifts and talents and interests so perfectly in my position as a teacher and coach at NorthPointe Christian. Every year I find new ways to teach better, and grow. I appreciate how hard they work to make sure people are serving in their capacities, and not asking people to do things they aren't skilled at. I am also grateful for how quickly and powerfully they come together in prayer for each others needs.

Thank you for reading and appreciating God's providence in my life over the last few years.  May you have a blessed Thanksgiving this year!

Thoughts while peeling oranges

I feel like I've just discovered oranges.  I was asked at the superbowl party to peel one for Abby, and really enjoyed it. My sister commented about how much she hates oranges -- specifically the smell that sticks on your hands the rest of the day. I can't stand her love of cucumbers, so I guess we're even.  Personally, I find the smell refreshing.

I was peeling an orange for Abby this morning, because she said she wanted some, but then she ate one piece and then was "all done". I went to tremendous effort to clean that orange, and wasn't about to let it go to waste, so I packed it up put it away.  I then quickly cleaned up the rest of her food, including some animal crackers, which I just threw away without hesitation.

It got me thinking about all the food we waste and throw out.  I know that as a family we save a lot of the food we make, but usually toss leftovers of things we didn't make.  I was wondering if as a society, we would be less wasteful, if we MADE more of our food. Physically made it, or grew it, or prepared it.  I throw out gallons of coffee each year -- perhaps if I went to the effort of actually grinding or preparing beans for it each morning, I wouldn't?

On what might seem like an unrelated note, Abby and I started working on a puzzle together.  We have lost a number of pieces -- at this point probably a third of the pieces are gone, and it makes it quite difficult to do.  It reminded me of the times when I had completed much larger puzzles, only to find one missing piece.  What great efforts we went through to find that one missing piece!

It reminded me of the story of the lost sheep. I have to admit, I thought the shepherd in that story was completely nuts, leaving 99 sheep to just look after one sheep which was probably stupid for getting lost anyway, and by now is probably dripping of its own blood in some lions mouth.  But I finally made the connection.  That lost sheep is the missing piece of the puzzle. It is the piece of the orange.  I didn't care about the sheep, because I had no investment in it whatsoever -- but the story makes great sense if you have. Who would complete a 1000 piece puzzle only to stop at the end with one piece missing and with Eeyore-like fatalism cry "Oh well, guess it'll show up next time" and pack everything up?

One final thought -- Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." and Philippians 1:6 says that "he who began this good work in you will carry it on to completion." Is this feeling of not wanting to waste, throw away, or lose something we work on an inherent feeling that we get because God feels the same way? Do we feel that way because we are made in his image?

Skills

• I CAN celebrate my unique strengths and abilities
• I CAN choose to dwell on the positives
• I CAN treat everyone with respect even if I’m angry or disagree with them
• I CAN take responsibility for my actions without making excuses or blaming others
• I CAN choose my attitude and behavior, no matter what happens to me
• I CAN make things happen for me instead of watching them happen to me
• I CAN encourage myself with positive words
• I CAN choose to try and learn from my mistakes instead of being paralyzed by what-ifs
• I CAN set goals that are achievable and worthwhile
• I CAN see myself being what I know I want later, by sacrificing what I feel I want now

Uneditted Videos

I have been struggling for some time now about creating and posting videos for my students and classes, because I am a perfectionist.  If I'm going to post something, I want it to be done well. When creating a video, I have yet to record myself perfectly. I constantly will make mistakes, say things twice, repeat myself, or say things twice constantly. Even if I don't make a mistake, my speech is so littered with "um" and "so" that it's embarrassing counting how many times I eliminate those.

Typically, when I create a video, it takes me 3-4 times the length of the video to edit it and do what I would consider a "great" job. For day-to-day lessons, that has proven to be unfeasible.

On the trip home today I listened to live radio and was reminded that the real world has a lot of mistakes, but that doesn't stop them.  So I decided that I would start publishing more videos -- but in a raw, uneditted format.  I will still produce high quality videos, especially for my physics class which is "flipped" and depends highly on video lectures for input, but I don't feel I need to do as high quality a job with my algebra videos, which aren't as highly viewed.

The same thinking, by the way, is the reason I don't blog very often -- maybe once a week.  I feel like I need my entries to be deep, rich, well written entries -- but they really don't.  After my Master's project is finished, I'll try to express more thoughts in rougher un-editted form.  Be ye warned....

Solitude, Community, and Ministry

Click to download

I just read an article by Henri Nouwen entitled Moving from Solitude to Community to Ministry.  Essentially, Nouwen describes three spiritual disciplines that are important to have in the correct order.  He has several definitions that caught me off guard and made me think. He defined discipline not as "self-control" as I might, but as "the effort of creating some space in which God can act."

The first discipline he described was solitude. While I spend many hours a week alone -- I wouldn't call it solitude. I drive everyday for at least an hour, most of which is alone. I usually can't stand this time -- trying to flood it with radio, lately talk radio because it makes me feel like I'm a part of a community.  If not radio, I'll flood it with music, and even sing along because I feel like I'm part of the band -- that I'm important, skillful, and not alone. Lately, I have been trying to introduce more solitude -- by turning the radio off.  That has been nice, but I am still bombarded by outside things -- typically thoughts about the day to come on my morning drive, or the day that happened on my drive home, and all the things I need to do. I'm beginning to wonder if I really can experience solitude on my drive home, despite being alone.

Nouwen suggested that solitude ought to lead you to the belief and understanding that you are God's beloved. Admittedly, that sounds a little sappy to me -- and I've never fully bought it that God is madly in love with me and cares about me. I'll admit that I try too often to seek my approval from others - and from community, that cannot really provide the love I seek. My wife, bless her heart, has provided so much love, but it still doesn't satisfy. It's not that she could do more -- it's just impossible for her to provide the unconditional love that God provides. Though I know all this in my head -- I still cannot feel it in my heart. Am I too busy? Would more time with God help my heart? Nouwen seems to suggest it. But how?

I've been thinking about my role as a deacon at church a lot. It's very frustrating, because I don't feel like I have anything to offer. I feel disorganized. I have not been able to pray for those in my care group like I should. I am not good at looking for other people's needs and though I am designated as the treasurer of the church, all the financial dealings are handled by others. I'm wondering if I should have declined the nomination after all. Now I'm off to a meeting where I don't have any opinions to offer, and I know I'm going to be more worried about the classwork I should be doing, the grading that is piling up, or the band practice that I should be leading in the room next door. I didn't decline the nomination becuase I figured if God wanted me to be a deacon, then He would cause me to be selected, and if he didn't, he would cause my nomination to fall. I'm wondering if it was wise for me to put this ministry opportunity in God's control, or if I should have removed my name from the list instead. After all, I don't trust God to help me cross the road or make a left turn, but use my own judgement which God has enabled me with.

Impulse

In physics, whenever an object speeds up, slows down, or changes direction, it has experienced a change in momentum.  There is a term for this -- we say it has experienced an impulse.  Galileo said that objects in motion stay in motion, or objects at rest stay at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force. Specifically, if we know the size of the force we can calculate how much change will occur, and if we know how much change has occurred, we can calculate the force that was involved.  The formula for this is that impulse (Δp) is equal to the size of the force (F) multiplied by the amount of time the force was acting (Δt) or more compactly:  Δp = FΔt

In our physics class, I mentioned one day that there are two different types of impulses.  One type involves a gradual change, where a small force is applied for a long time -- or fΔT. The other type of impulse would be a quick, "painful" change, involving a large force exerted for a relatively short amount of time -- or FΔt.  This would be the difference between catching a hockey puck gently by sliding back your stick as you catch it, versus leaving your stick still.  I remember the scene in Mighty Ducks where they practiced this with eggs on the court, and many eggs were broken.

All this got me thinking that God tends to exert changes on us and often these changes take one of two different methods.  At times, God has changed me with big events -- namely my mothers death, the birth of my baby girl, and a huge bout of depression that came about requiring medical attention when I was a senior in high school. Each of these have had a noticeable change in character.  But God has also shaped me through many small ideas for a long time.  The constant shaping of Christian schooling, and the loving example of my father, over 12 and 29 years respectively, have brought me to a trusting knowledge of God, and developed a loving character in me that, for the most part, desires to meet others needs above my own.

How has God impulsed (impacted?) your life? Has it been through big events, or a more gradual change?

Mor"jing" Routine CLICK ME

Trying out a new piece of software called Jing.  It allows you to record a portion of your computer screen while you speak over it, like many of those tech help videos you've seen on YouTube.  This was my first attempt at creating a jing -- it describes my morning routine:

  1. Check Email

  2. Check Calendar and ToDo list

  3. Check Google Homepage

  4. Check Facebook

It's a large file, so it may take a while to load, but it's only 1.5 minutes long, so give it a try and send your feedback!


Click on the title to watch.

Boring Blogposts

I feel like I've been doing nothing but writing papers for the last two weeks, so I haven't had any posts lately. Figure maybe someone somewhere would be interested in reading my philosophies of Christian education, and the role of technology in Christian education, which is where I've spent most of my blogging energies of late. Maybe more interesting posts will arise later?

Confessions of a Moviegoer

While attending my first class at Cornerstone today, we were doing a get-to-know you activity where we had to list one thing that "we never told our parents we did". I did very few secret things, and so thought it was a stupid question -- but only one thing came to mind.

Sometime early in high school -- maybe even middle school, I went to see an R-rated movie with my older cousin and some of his friends. I was not old enough. I can't remember what the movie was, or even how I managed to get in, being significantly younger than 17, but I did. I didn't want to go to see this movie -- but did and was told not to tell my parents. I never did.

The only thing I remember about the movie is that there was a sex scene. Thankfully, I don't remember the details -- but it did have a lasting effect on me. Throughout my high school and college years, I struggled with my thought life and my view of women. Was this directly a result of my cousin making me go to this movie -- of course not. But it was one of several initial encounters I had that lead me down a battle I wish I hadn't had to fight.

Needless to say, nowadays I take a strong stance on watching movies. My wife and I don't watch anything without "previewing" it first -- by reviews, or by looking at websites like Plugged In Movie Review to learn what's in it. I believe strongly that what you input into your system controls what comes out, and movies is one big influence on me, and many others. Carrie and I have found other things to do many times when a movie night was suggested for a movie we either hadn't previewed, or knew contained questionable material. Have I missed out on some good movies because of it? Possibly -- but I'm ok with that.

So next time you suggest a movie to me and I have something else to do -- don't be offended.

Its Been Three Days

Microsoft Outlook is telling me it's been three days since I last wrote in my blog, so I am writing again. I haven't been living as intentionally as I've wanted, so I am trying something new.

There are certain things I want to do consistently -- so I've used Microsoft Outlook to help hold me a little more accountable. For instance -- I want to "do devotions" everyday. So I set that as a task that recurs every day -- and so every morning when I turn on the computer it tells me that I need to do that.

Well, writing in the blog is something I want to do more consistently too, so I have it set to remind me every three days to write something. If I write before that -- great! If I write after that, no big deal, but it will continue to show up on my to do list until it gets done. Then it will move to three days later.

Other things on the list -- clean Ninja litter box every other day. (Not sure why I'm still doing this -- thought it was a temporary thing while Carrie was pregnant cause "pregnant women can't touch cat poop!") Doing dishes every other day. Take trash out, every thursday.

Not exactly sure how I feel about having devotions relegated to a task on my to do list - but I'd rather it be something I feel like I need to do just to get it done then not do them at all, which is what I had been doing. I suppose that's a philosohpical discussion to include in my next post, three days from now.

Thoughts While Husking Corn

My mind and spirit are so under attack lately that I didn't even feel like I could husk corn correctly yesterday.

I was sitting around on the 4th while everyone was out on the boats and my wife and baby were napping. I was sick of playing chess against the computer and wanted to do something. I thought I should turn some music on -- because that always brightens my spirits, and then thought -- hey! there's corn here that I could help clean! That would be great -- listen to some music and clean the corn!

But as soon as I got my radio on and bags ready for the corn clippings and pulled my first leaf off, I felt it.

My step-mom yelled in super-fast dutch "No! No! No! something something something..."

Then my sister translated "No! No! No! What are you doing! We were going to grill them in the husks! Now we can't do that! You idiot!"

Remember -- they were in the boat, so they didn't actually say that -- these are the voices I hear in my head.

Anyway -- I decided that these voices probably weren't true -- but still struggled with cleaning for a few minutes -- wondering if I would "get caught" cleaning any minute now. Then I would be in big trouble.

Then later -- as I was getting about 60% done, I started hearing from the dinner table "There's all these hairs on my corn." "Yeah, I hate those stupid hairs." "Who forgot to remove these hairs!"

Seriously.

Why can I not even do one act of service now without getting attacked with voices of doubt. I choose songs for a service and instantly hear people complaining. I step up to the plate and hear "another pop fly coming -- better get my glove ready to go on defense." I set up a VBS skit stage and hear the kids "That's not a boat!" or "There's somebody under that table!" I assign homework and I hear the kids saying "It's too hard" or "I already learned this" or "It took me two hours!" or I hear parents say "How come your class is the only class that..."

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On another note -- Pastor Ron talked about complainers and "nitpickers" who just sit on the sidelines in a church. I have the perfect job for them -- husking corn. You have to be such a hairpicker to get all those little pieces of silk -- it would be so easy for some people.

Fighting Injustice

Tigers' pitcher Galaraga almost threw a perfect game last night. The chance was stolen from him when Jim Joyce the umpire made a mistake and called a runner safe whom the Tigers had gotten out. The replay confirmed the runner was indeed out and the game should have been over -- but the game continued.

The reactions of fans, players, coaches, radio shows, have all been varied. The fans naturally booed -- and probably worse things. The players -- especially Galaraga -- simply smiled and shrugged it off, and got back to business. Tigers' coach Jim Leyland ran out on the field to fight the call -- but eventually submitted, and even announced today that Joyce was a great umpire - one who had given the game of baseball many great years. One radio announcer was on the opposite side of the spectrum -- calling for Joyce's firing, or at least suspension, and calling upon commissioner Bud Selig to use his power to change the call and give Galaraga the perfect game he deserved.

All this has got me thinking about what is the correct response to this sort of thing. Should we fight and argue and complain with all our might to get the call reversed and to assure that "justice is served?" Should we roll with the punches, shrug our shoulders, and realize its just a game and move on?

Anyone who knows me knows how I would have reacted -- but was that right? Should I too have gotten upset and frustrated and "fought a little harder?" Should seeking justice and truth be our priority, or learning to be content whatever circumstances life throws at us? Life is not fair -- everyone's mom has told us that from the beginning. Should we be trying to make life fair? Or should we be trying to cope with unfairness in life?

Or is this a false dichotomy? Are we to be doing both?

Not-so-profound-papapost

I've been waiting and waiting to write anything because I wanted it to be the most deep profound thoughts on being a new papa, but I can't think of anything.

Abby is very healthy, and I think she's super cute.

Being a papa is a great responsibility, but so far has not been nearly the nightmare I thought it would be. I can do all the major things, save one -- feed Abby.

I have changed diapers, changed onesies, washed Abby's clothes, and her arms, and her hair. I have swaddled her (it's just like making a fajita, but easier because the shell is actually long enough for the stuffing). I have learned to hold her and sway and bounce to make her happy.

I have also learned what not to do to babies, but I cannot post it here for fear of child abuse allegations.

Papa without an accent means potato in spanish.

Here's Abby with hiccups:

Come, Now Is The Time

... to be born!

I went through every hymn in the song book I have that has the word "Come" in it -- trying to convince baby to come out. Played it on the piano and sung aloud -- changed most of the lyrics. Jesus I Come became "Out of the darkness, into the the light, Baby Please come... Baby Please Come, out of mom's tummy, into our lives, Baby please come today."

She didn't listen.

Sang 2nd verse of Because He Lives -- about how precious it is to hold a newborn baby, and feel the pride they bring. She didn't come.

She's now two days late. That's 10% off per day.

God's timing is perfect though. He never gives us a challenge that we are not ready to meet.